ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
