belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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