we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
