i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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