You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
