Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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