Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
