Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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