HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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