how can u be prego again
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
