can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
