ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
