She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
