If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
