The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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