I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
