Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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