Whod you bang
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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