3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
