I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
being pregnant is like rehab
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
