should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
