I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I still have a little drunk in my system
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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