so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
