you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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