Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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