before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
