:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
