So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
