i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The power of my boobs compel you
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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