I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
