Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
