I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
