I wish I could teleport
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize