am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
