speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize