Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
