How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
