hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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