areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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