Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
