Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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