booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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