TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
