ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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