When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Houston, we have a squirter
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
