well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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