i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
