So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
