Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
