I could make wine with my vomit
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
