Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
