she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
