That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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