I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I am naked and annoyed.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
