Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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