Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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