You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
