He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
